I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
