his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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