white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Shame - the story of my life.
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