it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
