I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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