uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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