it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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