My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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