fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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