Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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