Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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