TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
