At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
