Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
