So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dear god my vagina.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
