Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the condom got lost in my hair
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
