I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
