I will die if light touches me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
