Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
