How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
