Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think your dad took our porno
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
