she looked like the before picture.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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