I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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