i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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