This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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