Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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