Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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