I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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