It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
