I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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