I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
