it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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