She is in my trunk
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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