What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
