He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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