My liver just broke up with me...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
