I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
