Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
