I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
