I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
