Someone shit on the floor
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
