"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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