we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
