Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
