I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
