i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
