what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
