You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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