Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
