your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
