Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
