It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
