oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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