ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
