You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
